Tuesday 28 February 2012
Good day
Today I left the house! My mum came round so we could take the buggy and the pram out and we went to Waitrose to get a few bits and have a cup of coffee. The girls are one month old today and Waitrose is the furthest I've walked (about half a mile) so far. I felt fine, so that's good. Tonight however, as with most evenings, my pelvis feels really stiff, similar to when Twin 1 was engaged. I really hope it improves soon, I feel so decrepid. Anyway, I left it too late to write this post. Now have a grizzly baby lying on me.
Monday 27 February 2012
Grizzly Day
Oh dear, it's been a grizzly day. The twins managed their morning nap well (as they do usually) but apart from that were asleep when they should have been awake and vice versa! I'm nudging them into a Gina Ford routine. I think she's a goddess. Certainly worked for us with DD1. The feed times are starting to fall into place but I think we've got some way to go with the rest. Having said that they were both quiet all evening yesterday, which hadn't happened for a week. It was like they had a little conference at 5:30pm every day to decide whose turn it was that day to play us up! As far as I am concerned that is one for the big pluses with Gina, that grown ups get an evening without bouncing a screaming baby on their knee. Fingers crossed this becomes a regular reality for us soon.
We've also had MIL here today as I am still not lifting DD1 following my csection. I really hope that I will be able to fly solo from next week. I am grateful for the help that I've had but I need to be able to look after the three girls on my own in order to feel like a grown up again and I would rather spend nap times doing things I want to do and not making small talk!
MIL being here made us able to go for a walk to the park which was a highlight for DD1 and meant that the babies did sleep in their pram for a while. Also it means that I am getting exercise. Until last week I had not walked further than the end of our road since December as I got too tired going any further. It's going to take a while for me to build up my fitness and strength again. But I want to start pushing my monster buggy, see picture, ASAP! Check it out at www.lotsofbabies.com
We've also had MIL here today as I am still not lifting DD1 following my csection. I really hope that I will be able to fly solo from next week. I am grateful for the help that I've had but I need to be able to look after the three girls on my own in order to feel like a grown up again and I would rather spend nap times doing things I want to do and not making small talk!
MIL being here made us able to go for a walk to the park which was a highlight for DD1 and meant that the babies did sleep in their pram for a while. Also it means that I am getting exercise. Until last week I had not walked further than the end of our road since December as I got too tired going any further. It's going to take a while for me to build up my fitness and strength again. But I want to start pushing my monster buggy, see picture, ASAP! Check it out at www.lotsofbabies.com
Sunday 26 February 2012
My Twins Birth Story
Thursday
At 38 weeks I was booked in for an induction at 7am so having left DD (for the first time ever) with my parents the night before we set out at 6:15am as we don’t live near the hospital. We were informed when we got there that twin mummies don’t need to be in until 8am and got sent off to have a coffee. Arriving back at 8am we were installed in the waiting room. Four hours later, after asking many times what was happening, a Dr came to see us, admitted that they didn’t have enough midwifes to start me off! They sent us away saying they would call us and do their best to get me back in at 6pm! After a pub lunch we went home and, worried that I would be labouring through the night, I managed to grab 1.5 hours sleep.
We arrived back at the hospital at 6pm and got a room on the delivery ward, a more promising start. The same Dr came to examine me himself and gave me the first prostin dose to ripen my cervix which was not at all favourable. The first time they gave it to me it really stung! Around 11pm nothing was happening so I sent DH home as he’d been awake since 6am and nothing was happening. I spent a very uncomfortable night trying to sleep, the beds in delivery wards are not meant to be slept on, obviously, and the twins heart rates had to be monitored every hour so I had to be woken for that. Around 1am another Dr examined me, said she could break my waters but she’d rather give me another dose of the prostin to really ripen the cervix, I didn’t really mind as I didn’t want it all kicking off without DH.
Friday
He arrived back around 7-8am and they gave me another, final dose of prostin at 9am. By this time it was clear they were playing for time. I had a community midwife with me who had been called in because they were short staffed. She claimed she couldn’t break my waters, even though the Dr had said she could, and that she couldn’t if she wanted to because there weren’t enough midwives on duty. I spent the whole of Friday without much happening, walking around trying to get things started but feeling really tired and heavy and depressed.
Around 5pm one of the registrars I had seen in the clinic and a midwife came to see me and examined me. The Dr said she could break my waters but it would be better for me to have a good night’s sleep and do so in the morning. I made her promise that nothing was going to change that and that she would do it herself in the morning! This time they moved me to the antenatal ward and I had a private room with a proper, for sleeping on, bed. I was quite happy with this as I couldn’t imagine going in to labour in the state that I was in. The midwife in charge though kept telling me to “chillax” which I found intensely annoying! I can’t remember when they had started but by now I was having really irregular contractions so it was really difficult to decide what DH should do but in the end I sent him home (I’m not sure they would have let him stay on antenatal anyway) with the proviso that I might have to call him.
Saturday
I woke up feeling a lot better for the sleep, even though I had had contractions all night. I’d kept my TENS machine on and every time a contraction woke me up I just pressed the boost button and then went back to sleep! I felt so much better that I decided I was going to make this the day my babies arrived! I packed up all my stuff and put all my bags at the end of the bed to show I was ready! I needn’t have worried about getting assertive because the midwife who came knew all about my situation and by 7am I was back in the same delivery room. She did say to me that they would need to see how many midwives they had in before they broke my waters because they had quite a few ladies already in labour. I said something to the effect that I could be here forever if I was always at the back of the queue and I would be asking them to call in a midwife especially for me if they didn’t have enough!
Anyway, from this point onwards I did feel like I was the priority. A new Dr appeared before 9am and broke my waters. I got introduced to my midwife, who had a student working alongside her (they were amazing), and DH arrived back. Got plugged in to a drip, starting on quite a low level. Everyone kept saying, well you’ve delivered vaginally before so there’s no reason to assume it’s not going to happen. From here I’m a bit hazy for a while because I got stuck into the gas and air!
The midwives asked if we had names for the girls, which we did, but we didn’t want to tell anyone what they were until they were with us. But within a few minutes of being on the gas and air I had given one of them away! I really loved gas and air when I had DD1 didn’t use anything else throughout. For a while this time it was great and I had my music going and my oils burning and I was really ‘in the zone’ and feeling positive. I don’t know what changed, I think they might have kicked the drip up a notch. My contractions were coming really close together, I was hardly getting a break and I began to panic a bit that I was still a long way off (I think I was about 5cm at this stage).
They like twin mummies to have an epidural, in case they have to use forceps, ventouse or perform a c section, that way you are already prepped for a full block. There’s also the possibility that they have to turn twin 2 after twin 1 is born. I never wanted one if I could help it, the fact that I had DD on gas and air made me feel that I could do it without, although when I knew I was going to have to be induced I was more prepared to have one as I knew it was likely to hurt more.
So around this time I did start asking for an epidural, after every contraction! Of course the anethesiatist wasn’t immediately available, he was in theatre. The midwives had a good giggle when he did arrive because I said something about knowing he was coming and that his name was Ben, they said I knew that because they had told me! I think I was confused because he looked a lot like DH’s boss!
It was very strange as soon as he arrived I stopped feeling like a total mess and actually had a few minutes where I questioned whether I really needed an epidural. I think for some reason I must have had a longer gap between contractions. Ben tried to give me and DH something to read about the procedure but the G&A was obviously still on board because it just swam before my eyes. He asked me why I was hesitating and I said it was because I didn’t want to be out of control and he explained that he could give me a very low level so I could still feel a lot but it wouldn’t hurt.
I changed positions and sat on the side of the bed. The next contraction was the nail in the coffin and I said yes please, I’ll have the epidural. I don’t remember much about it. Just holding onto DH to keep myself very still and steady and a cold sensation trickling down my back as it went in.
After that I did calm down. The only issue I had with the epidural was that my leg kept sliding off towards the edge of the bed and I had to ask DH to put it back! I think it was also that that made me feel and be sick, which I really hate. I’m not really sure what time I had the epidural or where the time after that really went. I know they whacked the drip up as high as it goes, without a Dr’s consent, in an attempt to make things happen but obviously I didn’t feel it.
At 8pm the midwives came to the end of their shift and I felt really sad that they hadn’t been able to see the babies. With DD1 my lovely, lovely midwife who I’ll never forget (she’s apparently currently on sick leave) said she would get her out before the end of her shift and at 7:57pm she made her appearance. But the new midwives, another midwife and student (who had twins herself!) team, seemed really nice and Sarah (day midwife) promised to come and see me the following day.
Around 10pm the night midwife, Louise, examined me and said I was still 5cm. I could have cried. They’d been monitoring the babies heart rates all day, twin 1 even had a clip put on her head to make it easier, and I knew they weren’t terribly happy with her heart rate which had been bouncing around between 170 and 190 for a while until I was sick and then it went down a bit. The Dr I had seen in clinic came to see me and re examined me, she told me that it was time to start thinking about having a c section, we couldn’t let things go on this way indefinitely. I was so disappointed. A c section was the last resort on my birth plan, even behind assisted delivery.
The Dr agreed that I was only dilated 5cm but she said that my cervix was very stretchy and she carried on poking about! Louise, the midwife said to her, “what are you doing” and the Dr told her to get her gloves. Louise re examined me. It might sound very undignified, like everyone was having a go but I’d ceased to care by this point! Louise was amazed by what she found and said how did you do that to the Dr. I gathered that the Dr had managed to stretch the cervix open a bit more but when Louise said I was now almost fully dilated I was amazed! The Dr confirmed that I had just a tiny little bit of cervix left that we needed to give a bit of time to to go. I think she said that she would be back in half an hour and Louise spent that whole time saying, “well I’ve never seen that!”
All this talk you hear from some women about wanting midwife only care and leaving the Drs at the door. I can honestly say that I think that Dr was wonderful for giving me the best chance to have a vaginal birth.
Half an hour or so later another Dr returned, as the magic Dr’s shift had ended. She asked me to do a couple of pushes to see what was happening. It was really strange, with DD1 I was only on G&A and felt everything when I was pushing, this time with the epidural on board I had no idea whether I was doing the right thing.
I was moved into theatre. I have known from around 28 weeks that I would give birth in theatre, regardless of how the birth was going, it’s just what they do with twins, in case any assistance is needed. Another Dr examined me and confirmed the little bit of remaining cervix was still there. But he asked me to push. I suppose they were seeing if it was feasible to push past that little bit. I think they were probably disappointed with my efforts but I really didn’t know what I was doing. He said he thought we should go ahead with a c section as he didn’t feel we’d get anywhere with forceps. This freaked me out a bit. No one had said anything about forceps before and I find them really scary. He said he didn’t do ‘risky’ forceps delivery so I conceded and they began to prepare for a section.
I was moved from the bed to the surgery table and a new anethesiatist gave me a stronger epidural. At some point I was sick again. There were lots of people in the room, which although you always hear is normal for an epidural, was freaking me out a bit. But I was trying to keep it together for DH. I knew this was his last resort too, he really hated the idea of me being cut open. They’d been preparing for a while when I realised no one had done anything about putting a barrier so that we couldn’t see the operation. I’m sure they were going to but I did start asking, worried that they weren’t They hoisted my gown up to form the barrier and hung a sheet over the top of that too.
I was aware that I was being handled but because for some reason I didn’t realise that they had actually started until someone said to me that the first baby was almost out. I had asked in my birth plan that, in the event of a c section, I would like to have a running commentary. When Twin 1 was born they didn’t show her to me over the barrier either, I don’t know if that was because she needed attention. It’s only writing this now that I realise how groggy I must have been.
I heard Twin 1 cry and someone must have confirmed she was a girl. I remember saying “at last” and shedding a few tears. When Twin 2 was out they said that she was a girl too and DH said “oh good” which meant a lot because there’s always been some doubt over the sex of the second baby and MIL had made it clear she would be disappointed not to have at least one grandson.
Twin 1 was born at 23:05 and Twin 2 at 23:06.
I was given Twin 1 to hold and she was beautiful but I had started to shake, a reaction to the epidural. I would say my teeth were chattering but it was more violent than that. I felt I was actually in danger of loosing teeth! I think I gave Twin 1 to DH and I couldn’t hold Twin 2. I was too scared of dropping her. I think it was around this time that I noticed that the ‘barrier’ was starting to fall down and poor DH was listing so that he wouldn’t see anything. He’s 6’3” so it didn’t have to fall far for it to be a problem. Eventually he had to say something and they fixed it.
The Dr who delivered the babies came round to say congratulations and said that the babies were in such a position that it was unlikely they would have come out by themselves. I’m so glad that she told me that because I have clung to this fact to help me through the disappointment of having to have a c section.
I heard the midwives saying “no, that one can’t weigh more than that one.” Twin 2 weighed in at 6lb 3oz, despite looking smaller than her 6lb sister. We think she’s a bit longer! The babies were dressed by the midwives, wrapped in blankets and put in the same cot together. I was still shaking as I was wheeled into the recovery ward with them. I was quite distraught when one of the midwives told me it would last 2-3 hours. Luckily it was only about an hour or less I think. They gave me both babies to hold again and put a guard up round my bed so that I wouldn’t worry about dropping them.
Around 1am DH went home to get some sleep. Louise told me that she and her colleague would look after the babies during the night so I could rest. I wish I could tell you that I got a good sleep but after the shaking wore off I started to itch, particularly my face and chest. They did sponge me at some point but it didn’t really help. Actually I was itchy for days after. I also had to have my blood pressure and temperature taken hourly that night.
Louise came and got me up at 6:30 the following morning. I had said something to her about the fact that having a shower would make all the difference to how I felt so that is what she helped me to do. I remember a friend telling me that she’d quite like to be a midwife but having had a c section and seen what they have to do for women afterwards she had changed her mind. I see where she was coming from. Not only did they change my sanitary pads all through the night because I couldn’t move but Louise also emptied my catheter and when I came out the shower she dried my legs because I couldn’t have bent down. She was very encouraging about how well I was doing walking to the shower and so on.
We were given a private room in postnatal which I was very grateful for. The student midwife working alongside Louise had already moved all my stuff in there and put out my photos of DD1. DH arrived later that morning and my parents bought DD1 to visit later that afternoon, it was sooo lovely to see her after all those days and see her reaction to the babies. She was a bit blasé about it! We left hospital two days later, having had a little difficulty getting Twin 2 to eat well, she’s still being a little tricky but both girls have regained their birth weight. I am bottle feeding them. After a difficult and short experience trying to feed DD1 I decided almost as soon as I found out I was having twins that I was not going to put us all through that again and I do feel like I have made the right decision.
I am disappointed I had a c section and I have wondered if I had made different choices, like refusing induction or not having an epidural or even sitting on my birthing ball more, would I have managed to deliver them ‘naturally’. It’s lucky that I have more important things to think about and that it has started to bother me less.
I have never been in agony during my recovery but it is really hard. The hardest thing is not being able to pick up DD1. I haven’t bathed her for months now because with my huge bump I couldn’t reach into the tub and I thought all that would come to an end with the birth of the twins. Hopefully it will only be a couple more weeks at most.
To be honest my body felt like a bit of wreck and still does though it’s getting a lot better. Directly after the birth, aside from the obvious c section scar I also had bruising on my arm, where the drips were put into me, bruising on my thigh (no idea how or why I got that), burn marks or an allergic reaction on my back from my TENS machine (I was wearing it for two days) and as I mentioned before, I was itchy all over for days (and my tummy is still itchy?) I had the catheter in more 24 hours after the birth and had to wear very attractive dvt stockings for the duration of my hospital stay. Child birth certainly is not glamourous!
My girls are beautiful, so far the nights have been ok and the days pretty good until about 4pm when they get a bit antsy and want to eat all the time. DD1 is really lovely with the babies, a bit disobedient to us, but she’s such a bright girl and very entertaining. I have such a good relationship with my mum. I can’t believe I am so lucky to have a chance at three such friendships with my daughters.
At 38 weeks I was booked in for an induction at 7am so having left DD (for the first time ever) with my parents the night before we set out at 6:15am as we don’t live near the hospital. We were informed when we got there that twin mummies don’t need to be in until 8am and got sent off to have a coffee. Arriving back at 8am we were installed in the waiting room. Four hours later, after asking many times what was happening, a Dr came to see us, admitted that they didn’t have enough midwifes to start me off! They sent us away saying they would call us and do their best to get me back in at 6pm! After a pub lunch we went home and, worried that I would be labouring through the night, I managed to grab 1.5 hours sleep.
We arrived back at the hospital at 6pm and got a room on the delivery ward, a more promising start. The same Dr came to examine me himself and gave me the first prostin dose to ripen my cervix which was not at all favourable. The first time they gave it to me it really stung! Around 11pm nothing was happening so I sent DH home as he’d been awake since 6am and nothing was happening. I spent a very uncomfortable night trying to sleep, the beds in delivery wards are not meant to be slept on, obviously, and the twins heart rates had to be monitored every hour so I had to be woken for that. Around 1am another Dr examined me, said she could break my waters but she’d rather give me another dose of the prostin to really ripen the cervix, I didn’t really mind as I didn’t want it all kicking off without DH.
Friday
He arrived back around 7-8am and they gave me another, final dose of prostin at 9am. By this time it was clear they were playing for time. I had a community midwife with me who had been called in because they were short staffed. She claimed she couldn’t break my waters, even though the Dr had said she could, and that she couldn’t if she wanted to because there weren’t enough midwives on duty. I spent the whole of Friday without much happening, walking around trying to get things started but feeling really tired and heavy and depressed.
Around 5pm one of the registrars I had seen in the clinic and a midwife came to see me and examined me. The Dr said she could break my waters but it would be better for me to have a good night’s sleep and do so in the morning. I made her promise that nothing was going to change that and that she would do it herself in the morning! This time they moved me to the antenatal ward and I had a private room with a proper, for sleeping on, bed. I was quite happy with this as I couldn’t imagine going in to labour in the state that I was in. The midwife in charge though kept telling me to “chillax” which I found intensely annoying! I can’t remember when they had started but by now I was having really irregular contractions so it was really difficult to decide what DH should do but in the end I sent him home (I’m not sure they would have let him stay on antenatal anyway) with the proviso that I might have to call him.
Saturday
I woke up feeling a lot better for the sleep, even though I had had contractions all night. I’d kept my TENS machine on and every time a contraction woke me up I just pressed the boost button and then went back to sleep! I felt so much better that I decided I was going to make this the day my babies arrived! I packed up all my stuff and put all my bags at the end of the bed to show I was ready! I needn’t have worried about getting assertive because the midwife who came knew all about my situation and by 7am I was back in the same delivery room. She did say to me that they would need to see how many midwives they had in before they broke my waters because they had quite a few ladies already in labour. I said something to the effect that I could be here forever if I was always at the back of the queue and I would be asking them to call in a midwife especially for me if they didn’t have enough!
Anyway, from this point onwards I did feel like I was the priority. A new Dr appeared before 9am and broke my waters. I got introduced to my midwife, who had a student working alongside her (they were amazing), and DH arrived back. Got plugged in to a drip, starting on quite a low level. Everyone kept saying, well you’ve delivered vaginally before so there’s no reason to assume it’s not going to happen. From here I’m a bit hazy for a while because I got stuck into the gas and air!
The midwives asked if we had names for the girls, which we did, but we didn’t want to tell anyone what they were until they were with us. But within a few minutes of being on the gas and air I had given one of them away! I really loved gas and air when I had DD1 didn’t use anything else throughout. For a while this time it was great and I had my music going and my oils burning and I was really ‘in the zone’ and feeling positive. I don’t know what changed, I think they might have kicked the drip up a notch. My contractions were coming really close together, I was hardly getting a break and I began to panic a bit that I was still a long way off (I think I was about 5cm at this stage).
They like twin mummies to have an epidural, in case they have to use forceps, ventouse or perform a c section, that way you are already prepped for a full block. There’s also the possibility that they have to turn twin 2 after twin 1 is born. I never wanted one if I could help it, the fact that I had DD on gas and air made me feel that I could do it without, although when I knew I was going to have to be induced I was more prepared to have one as I knew it was likely to hurt more.
So around this time I did start asking for an epidural, after every contraction! Of course the anethesiatist wasn’t immediately available, he was in theatre. The midwives had a good giggle when he did arrive because I said something about knowing he was coming and that his name was Ben, they said I knew that because they had told me! I think I was confused because he looked a lot like DH’s boss!
It was very strange as soon as he arrived I stopped feeling like a total mess and actually had a few minutes where I questioned whether I really needed an epidural. I think for some reason I must have had a longer gap between contractions. Ben tried to give me and DH something to read about the procedure but the G&A was obviously still on board because it just swam before my eyes. He asked me why I was hesitating and I said it was because I didn’t want to be out of control and he explained that he could give me a very low level so I could still feel a lot but it wouldn’t hurt.
I changed positions and sat on the side of the bed. The next contraction was the nail in the coffin and I said yes please, I’ll have the epidural. I don’t remember much about it. Just holding onto DH to keep myself very still and steady and a cold sensation trickling down my back as it went in.
After that I did calm down. The only issue I had with the epidural was that my leg kept sliding off towards the edge of the bed and I had to ask DH to put it back! I think it was also that that made me feel and be sick, which I really hate. I’m not really sure what time I had the epidural or where the time after that really went. I know they whacked the drip up as high as it goes, without a Dr’s consent, in an attempt to make things happen but obviously I didn’t feel it.
At 8pm the midwives came to the end of their shift and I felt really sad that they hadn’t been able to see the babies. With DD1 my lovely, lovely midwife who I’ll never forget (she’s apparently currently on sick leave) said she would get her out before the end of her shift and at 7:57pm she made her appearance. But the new midwives, another midwife and student (who had twins herself!) team, seemed really nice and Sarah (day midwife) promised to come and see me the following day.
Around 10pm the night midwife, Louise, examined me and said I was still 5cm. I could have cried. They’d been monitoring the babies heart rates all day, twin 1 even had a clip put on her head to make it easier, and I knew they weren’t terribly happy with her heart rate which had been bouncing around between 170 and 190 for a while until I was sick and then it went down a bit. The Dr I had seen in clinic came to see me and re examined me, she told me that it was time to start thinking about having a c section, we couldn’t let things go on this way indefinitely. I was so disappointed. A c section was the last resort on my birth plan, even behind assisted delivery.
The Dr agreed that I was only dilated 5cm but she said that my cervix was very stretchy and she carried on poking about! Louise, the midwife said to her, “what are you doing” and the Dr told her to get her gloves. Louise re examined me. It might sound very undignified, like everyone was having a go but I’d ceased to care by this point! Louise was amazed by what she found and said how did you do that to the Dr. I gathered that the Dr had managed to stretch the cervix open a bit more but when Louise said I was now almost fully dilated I was amazed! The Dr confirmed that I had just a tiny little bit of cervix left that we needed to give a bit of time to to go. I think she said that she would be back in half an hour and Louise spent that whole time saying, “well I’ve never seen that!”
All this talk you hear from some women about wanting midwife only care and leaving the Drs at the door. I can honestly say that I think that Dr was wonderful for giving me the best chance to have a vaginal birth.
Half an hour or so later another Dr returned, as the magic Dr’s shift had ended. She asked me to do a couple of pushes to see what was happening. It was really strange, with DD1 I was only on G&A and felt everything when I was pushing, this time with the epidural on board I had no idea whether I was doing the right thing.
I was moved into theatre. I have known from around 28 weeks that I would give birth in theatre, regardless of how the birth was going, it’s just what they do with twins, in case any assistance is needed. Another Dr examined me and confirmed the little bit of remaining cervix was still there. But he asked me to push. I suppose they were seeing if it was feasible to push past that little bit. I think they were probably disappointed with my efforts but I really didn’t know what I was doing. He said he thought we should go ahead with a c section as he didn’t feel we’d get anywhere with forceps. This freaked me out a bit. No one had said anything about forceps before and I find them really scary. He said he didn’t do ‘risky’ forceps delivery so I conceded and they began to prepare for a section.
I was moved from the bed to the surgery table and a new anethesiatist gave me a stronger epidural. At some point I was sick again. There were lots of people in the room, which although you always hear is normal for an epidural, was freaking me out a bit. But I was trying to keep it together for DH. I knew this was his last resort too, he really hated the idea of me being cut open. They’d been preparing for a while when I realised no one had done anything about putting a barrier so that we couldn’t see the operation. I’m sure they were going to but I did start asking, worried that they weren’t They hoisted my gown up to form the barrier and hung a sheet over the top of that too.
I was aware that I was being handled but because for some reason I didn’t realise that they had actually started until someone said to me that the first baby was almost out. I had asked in my birth plan that, in the event of a c section, I would like to have a running commentary. When Twin 1 was born they didn’t show her to me over the barrier either, I don’t know if that was because she needed attention. It’s only writing this now that I realise how groggy I must have been.
I heard Twin 1 cry and someone must have confirmed she was a girl. I remember saying “at last” and shedding a few tears. When Twin 2 was out they said that she was a girl too and DH said “oh good” which meant a lot because there’s always been some doubt over the sex of the second baby and MIL had made it clear she would be disappointed not to have at least one grandson.
Twin 1 was born at 23:05 and Twin 2 at 23:06.
I was given Twin 1 to hold and she was beautiful but I had started to shake, a reaction to the epidural. I would say my teeth were chattering but it was more violent than that. I felt I was actually in danger of loosing teeth! I think I gave Twin 1 to DH and I couldn’t hold Twin 2. I was too scared of dropping her. I think it was around this time that I noticed that the ‘barrier’ was starting to fall down and poor DH was listing so that he wouldn’t see anything. He’s 6’3” so it didn’t have to fall far for it to be a problem. Eventually he had to say something and they fixed it.
The Dr who delivered the babies came round to say congratulations and said that the babies were in such a position that it was unlikely they would have come out by themselves. I’m so glad that she told me that because I have clung to this fact to help me through the disappointment of having to have a c section.
I heard the midwives saying “no, that one can’t weigh more than that one.” Twin 2 weighed in at 6lb 3oz, despite looking smaller than her 6lb sister. We think she’s a bit longer! The babies were dressed by the midwives, wrapped in blankets and put in the same cot together. I was still shaking as I was wheeled into the recovery ward with them. I was quite distraught when one of the midwives told me it would last 2-3 hours. Luckily it was only about an hour or less I think. They gave me both babies to hold again and put a guard up round my bed so that I wouldn’t worry about dropping them.
Around 1am DH went home to get some sleep. Louise told me that she and her colleague would look after the babies during the night so I could rest. I wish I could tell you that I got a good sleep but after the shaking wore off I started to itch, particularly my face and chest. They did sponge me at some point but it didn’t really help. Actually I was itchy for days after. I also had to have my blood pressure and temperature taken hourly that night.
Louise came and got me up at 6:30 the following morning. I had said something to her about the fact that having a shower would make all the difference to how I felt so that is what she helped me to do. I remember a friend telling me that she’d quite like to be a midwife but having had a c section and seen what they have to do for women afterwards she had changed her mind. I see where she was coming from. Not only did they change my sanitary pads all through the night because I couldn’t move but Louise also emptied my catheter and when I came out the shower she dried my legs because I couldn’t have bent down. She was very encouraging about how well I was doing walking to the shower and so on.
We were given a private room in postnatal which I was very grateful for. The student midwife working alongside Louise had already moved all my stuff in there and put out my photos of DD1. DH arrived later that morning and my parents bought DD1 to visit later that afternoon, it was sooo lovely to see her after all those days and see her reaction to the babies. She was a bit blasé about it! We left hospital two days later, having had a little difficulty getting Twin 2 to eat well, she’s still being a little tricky but both girls have regained their birth weight. I am bottle feeding them. After a difficult and short experience trying to feed DD1 I decided almost as soon as I found out I was having twins that I was not going to put us all through that again and I do feel like I have made the right decision.
I am disappointed I had a c section and I have wondered if I had made different choices, like refusing induction or not having an epidural or even sitting on my birthing ball more, would I have managed to deliver them ‘naturally’. It’s lucky that I have more important things to think about and that it has started to bother me less.
I have never been in agony during my recovery but it is really hard. The hardest thing is not being able to pick up DD1. I haven’t bathed her for months now because with my huge bump I couldn’t reach into the tub and I thought all that would come to an end with the birth of the twins. Hopefully it will only be a couple more weeks at most.
To be honest my body felt like a bit of wreck and still does though it’s getting a lot better. Directly after the birth, aside from the obvious c section scar I also had bruising on my arm, where the drips were put into me, bruising on my thigh (no idea how or why I got that), burn marks or an allergic reaction on my back from my TENS machine (I was wearing it for two days) and as I mentioned before, I was itchy all over for days (and my tummy is still itchy?) I had the catheter in more 24 hours after the birth and had to wear very attractive dvt stockings for the duration of my hospital stay. Child birth certainly is not glamourous!
My girls are beautiful, so far the nights have been ok and the days pretty good until about 4pm when they get a bit antsy and want to eat all the time. DD1 is really lovely with the babies, a bit disobedient to us, but she’s such a bright girl and very entertaining. I have such a good relationship with my mum. I can’t believe I am so lucky to have a chance at three such friendships with my daughters.
Hello!
Welcome to my blog. I recently posted the story of my twins' birth on Baby Centre and so many people were kind enough to say how much they enjoyed it that have been inspired to start this blog. My babies are only four weeks old so this blog will probably mainly consist of my sleep deprived ramblings. I really enjoyed writing my birth story and found it quite theraputic. I'm hoping that this blog might help me through the next few crazy months in a similar way. If you'd like to join me you'll be very welcome!
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